I got into my car after 10 hours of mainly waiting.
Then the day hit me.
I cried.
I prayed.
I embraced the new journey.
I went home, and today I am gladly working because I am still walking! I am still alive. And God is GOOD.
Before I tell you about my back...
on my "singleness" note.
This past Sunday I was with believers that's never met me before. They did not know I volunteered with YWAM. They prayed for my back and had zero idea what God has been speaking to me personally. The one man prayed as if I was a missionary - He kept speaking about how I go into dark places to share the Gospel and how God's light comes to free people... and how God is using me... I could not believe my ears!!
THEN HE SAID IT
One thing stood out like crazy. That same morning when I woke up, I thought... "God, is it also for this next season you want me to stay single?"
I caught myself totally of-guard. WHY would I think like this, I thought to myself! It came out of the blue.
Half way through the prayer this stranger says "The Lord says, I have called you, You are mine. I have placed a ring on your finger. There is not other path for you. He will provide for you" (It was recorded... he said it just like that)
OH MY WORD Talk about God answering thoughts!
I looked at the ring on my finger that says "My Maker is my Husband"
Tell you what... I will never doubt this one again!
Back to my back
"Can I fly to my meetings?" I asked dr. Louw. "No, you can definitely not fly right now. THUS, I am in the process of canceling my Visa process to Spain.
Photo Below
I remembered seeing this in 1992. This is a little child that Dr. Louw operated on. Sketch is before and after. Incredible! (sorry for the reflections, it was unavoidable)
CONFIRMED
The disc is out. No, not the old fixed one. Just above.
The nerves are being pressed on both sides.
That is what creates a strong "burning" sensation.
MYSTERY OF MY "DISLOCATING HIP" SOLVED.
OH! I found out that my "hip that gets stuck" was not my hip at all (what a relieve). This problem actually unbeknownst to me, started around 4 years ago in Thailand without knowing it was my back.
Back in Thailand, I took x-rays of my right hip and the doctor basically thought it was all in my head and laughed. (Yes, I had to forgive him). The feeling of my leg giving way and my leg "getting stuck" (I cannot move it for about 5 seconds) had to do with my nerve being hit because of the dislocated disc.
First round of treatment to try avoid an operation
Painting Above in their beautiful office.
Ten weeks of Therapy and 10 weeks of Bio-kinetic exercises - both in Pretoria (37km & 42km each time). I remember that it did not work for me back when I was 15. It was a SUPER painful experience (No Thai massage here) in order to press the disc back into place (or something like that). Next Thursday... round 2, 28 years later.
I take courage in this:
Hebrews 5:7 "God heard the prayer of Jesus by taking away, not the experience of death itself but THE FEAR of death." This is something I ponder.
Right before this, it says that the Father could have saved Jesus from dying but then the sobering thought of :8 struck me once again.
For me, the FEAR of my back, is what God is dealing with. He does not simply take away all pain, even though HE CAN. He does not exchange the experience to a "pain-free" one.
Some He heals but some he deals with like he did with Jesus His Son, when He says something like this: "I will take away your fear but you still need to learn obedience through suffering." (that is :8)
Many Christians stand or fall right here. I want to do more than stand. I want to run this race set before me.
Current YWAM UOFN work
I will hopefully continue to help the University of the Nations' Provost office switching over to a new system If my back cannot handle the hours of sitting, we will make a plan.
Below: Peter walking on water with Jesus... I still need to build a boat! sandboxbible.com
I am also working hard to see if we can get the nativity scene out for Christmas.
Note on Prayer.
One thing I do not understand is that the Prayer Training Board Game is still... not fully funded. I prayed about it again this morning because to see this in every CUM Book shop over the nation by Christmas is doable. I already have the YES from CUM.
Please keep praying with me that the person HE calls to put forth the remaining R85 000 will actually do it. I think we need to fight for this one in prayer. Satan HATES prayer. Why would there not be struggle for this amazing tool to train people to intercede?
Please DO pray with me.
Back to yesterday - There was financial Grace too.
Amazing how God helped me safe face at the MRI.
Just before I left, I strongly felt to take I a bank card that I never use - strictly emergency only - for instance like a funeral that I HAVE to fly to - I never have the card on me but felt to take it yesterday. (I nearly-nearly used that money to buy a new phone because my phone is dying) but I felt not to do it. Oh, I am so glad I listened to that voice.
The hidden blessings :
The MRI doctor gave me a MASSIVE discount for which I was so grateful. (He must have seen my status of work says "Full time volunteer" & "Single" LOL.
An MRI cost just below R9000 & The other doctor had me pay "second visit rates" A third of the initial price.
But if I did not take the emergency card I would not have had the money to pay for yesterday. With the discounts, I was able to pay without saying anything.
See!
God is there...
when we look, He is there.
A movie I strongly recommend to watch - based on a true story: A Case For Christ. It was SO GOOD!!
Thanks to all of you who asked me personally how it is going. I really appreciated all the emails and prayers.
Much love from me to you
SarahB