The three of us went to bed. Nothing seemed out of place. Around 9 pm I noticed Lilly was licking her paw and I saw that she had a small sore on her foot. I took some ointment and helped her. Then I switched off the bed lamp - and as usual, Maycee dove under the covers and Lilly went to drink some water.
I listened as she ticked-ticked-ticked with her black toes on my wooden floor to the water bowl and suddenly she... fell. I thought, it cannot be. I switched on my light and rushed to Lilly. She was having major spasm in her one leg. I rubbed and rubbed but nothing helped. I ran to my parents down stairs and then rushed to the vet. It was not a stroke.
Very last photo of Lilly... she could not walk.
The vet said he was sure everything would be fine in the morning. He gave her a very strong injection to relax the mussels. Half of her body was lame. I drove home. We did not sleep. She lied next to my pillow and kept licking the tears off my face throughout the night. The next morning 8am I gave her to the vet for x-rays and went home, waiting for news. At 9:30 he phoned me.
It was the middle of her back. Two of the vertebra did not grow together where it should have and was a weak spot. It shifted and injured the spinal cord and nerves. There was nothing they could do.
I phoned my brother and asked him to dig a grave.
I don't think I have to say anything else...
In just 12 hours, sunshine was ripped out of my heart. This morning I wrote her a letter to say bye. She was exactly 3 years old.
Lilly Lilly Lilly Beans
Jy was my hart se center piece.
My liefste Lilla... ek is so jammer.
Ek moes die hel-pad van uitsit stap.
Jy was maar drie jaartjies oud.
Jou bal-bring het ek nooit besef
was die lag krake op my gesig.
Dis so stil. Sonder jou r r r r
vir die bal en vir my koffie en vir my kos
en Maycee soek jou.... dis n gemors.
My Lilly My Lilly Beans
Speel asb in my hemelse tuin
saam met Tannie Phoebe wat lief was vir jou.
Darm het jy daar n tuin!
Jy was my kind
My 4 poot sonskyn kind.
The last three days before she passed away:
- Sitting with me while I work.
- Watching the food out of my plate.
- EVERY morning balancing on my knees while I drink coffee... begging for a piece of my rusks.
Right now my house has never been so quiet. Maycee does not touch the balls in the house... she knows something happened. This is hard to watch. No tail to chase anymore.
YES... I will get another dog.
This house is simply way too quiet. If I could have 10 dogs I would... and hairless cats... in my next life :-)
She will be called Mossie (SPARROW).
Of course God came and comforted me so much. So when in prayer I mentioned a friend for Maycee a name popped into my head:
"Mossie" (Sparrow). He said to me: I KNOW ABOUT EVERY ONE and I KNOW ABOUT LILLY!!
"...not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it."
God does not stop sparrows from falling. He does not stop our doggies and family from dying, but He knows exactly what happens and is in the moment there, with us.
This word brought tremendous comfort in that moment. God is love and God is kind. We do not know why He allows suffering but this we know: Looking at God through the lens of Love and Kindness, we know there must be something to our circumstances that we sometimes just do not get - like the wife of Job. She did not get it. I always think of her response and what Job chose because of His intimate knowledge of the character of God and dare I say here, the character of the ancient enemy of mankind God loves, Satan.
I am filming 33 scenes of Jesus and the cross to resurrection right now. Since I started with these scenes ( I am on 8/33) I am obviously pondering the cross and the road Christ walked for us - and how people just NEVER GOT HIM. Like Job's wife they did not get it.
Please do pray a covering over my work as I go through The Cross & Resurrection.
1 Cor 1:18 "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." This means that we know that as we also pick up our cross, rejoicing in suffering, we enter into the power of God although so counterintuitive. We give thanks in ALL things. ALL things. All means ALL.
LIFE KEEPS GOING ON...
"And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another..." Hebrews 10:25
(Above: YWAM Frontier Missions & Global Media for Movements Meetings)
I copy a letter from Calvin Conkey (Create Int.) that he wrote yesterday. I thought he summed our meeting up very well:
For many of us, this was the first time to see two worlds converge – those serving faithfully in God’s movements around the world – and those serving faithfully in media, technology, and ethno-arts around the world.
Interestingly, on October 6th, we heard the same words from both worlds! For example:
One movement leader working among 15 groups said, “We’re struggling to come up with discipleship media that is Hindu contextualized for 7 dialects geared towards women and children.”
One digital media servant said, “We would love to connect with more movement leaders to help them solve their media problems, but we often struggle to connect with them.”
One person described the M4M Global Gathering presentations and discussions as “historic.” Indeed, we believe God is doing something new! We began much needed, long-awaited conversations together. So, brothers and sisters, let’s keep talking!
YOUTUBE - It is not all for nothing! God is moving.
It has been a daily task to produce a video for the Online Chronological SandBoxBible series on YouTube. It is hard work to say the least YET I have had some really good conversations with people about it - the Green Light to keep going is on.
It is a daily grind of reading, finding figures, cutting them, painting them and then filming the story scripture verse by verse by verse.
While in this amazing Zoom gathering a person wrote to me a private message (as we all do in zoom) and I tried to figure out who it was but there was no picture with the name - most likely security reasons. We were from all over the world so I could not figure it out.
"Thank you so much for your work. Your inspired me in more ways of how to reach people and specifically the one ones in our church. Thank you" DB
I had no idea! But what I know is that God is truly on the move through DDM - Disciple Making Disciples & Church Plant movements globally!
On the Family-Front
The children are growing up. Alexander turned 7 and Janco 8. The weather finally played along and we had hours next to the beach - watching Massive Wales extremely close to where the surfers where surfing.
FC made the kids (dangerous) cross bows... LOL that shoots for real! I engraved Alexander's name on it - it looked amazing.
Joshua figured out I have sand in the house - plays his heart out and then falls asleep.
Friends, Family, and Sponsors
Thank you to all the actual phone calls (not simply whats apps!) I received from friends when you heard about Lilly! I felt so supported! It is really nice when friends realize that for some of us, our dogs are like our kids. Thanks. And I had no idea I had so many enlightened friends! :-)
Thank you so much for your ongoing prayers and support.
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